Saturday 16th June, my husband got up bright and
early for the funeral service of his uncle. He had told me not to come as the
funeral service started early in the morning and afterwards, they would be
taking the body to Togo to be buried and then they would travel back to Ghana.
They would spend a total of 6 hours on the road.
I had planned to spend the day chilling out and doing some
retail therapy at Accra Mall, but due to my taxi driver letting me down, I had
to stay at home. I was thankful in the end – I spent most of the day sleeping.
I hadn’t realised how tired I was, especially after the events of the previous
day.
At about 9pm my husband arrived home. He told me about the funeral
and burial and gave me the programme to take a look at. I read the tributes
from his wife, children and nieces and nephews. They were all very sad. My
husband said that this day had been particularly sad, because although he had
been dead for a while, the burial made everything official. He was really dead.
His body was now in the ground and never again would he walk this earth.
Sunday was the third and final part of the funeral. It was called
Thanksgiving day. There was a church service, followed by a party at our late
uncle’s home. Music was playing and food was being served. A book also went
round for those who wished to present a thanksgiving monetary token to the
family. Those who wished to contribute wrote their names, the amount they were
giving and the family member they wished to give to (whether the children or
widow). The money was then placed in a large wooden box and then divided later
on.
As the day went on people were all in higher spirits than
the previous days and towards the evening everyone gathered in the living room
of the house and started singing and dancing to gospel music. Uncle’s oldest
daughter started imitating her father’s dance moves – he was quite a mover!
That was a bitter sweet moment… As the night went on “light-off” struck, but
that didn’t stop the singing and dancing. Someone lit a candle and everybody
continued with the songs of praise.
Later on, we all held hands and said a group prayer. My
husband and I left shortly after that. As we were on the way home, my husband
said to me “I finally realised that my uncle died. All this time it seemed like
he had travelled, but now I realise he is gone” I told him that although his
uncle had gone and there was nothing anyone could do to bring him back, he left
plenty of good memories to be cherished and he also set many good examples to
be followed. Uncle was a hardworking and very innovative man. He always had good
ideas and was able to make them happen. He encouraged others to go for their
dreams and was himself a great achiever. There is so much to be learnt from the
good things that he did and also from the mistakes that he made. He will
certainly be missed because he made such a difference.
Uncle’s death had certainly been a unique experience for me
personally and although it was one that I wish I and all those who loved him
did not have to experience, I did learn two main things:
Firstly, we should cherish our loved ones whilst they are
with us. We should make the most of our time with them – teaching them, learning
from them, making amends with them and more. I say this because when they are
gone, we will still miss them dearly, but at least we will not regret the
things we did or did not say and do.
Secondly, death is inevitable. It’s the sure end for all of
us. But, if we live our lives in the way that our Creator wants us to, we can
be sure that after death we will certainly live again. When a loved one departs
from this earth, we will not see them again in this life, but if they died as
true servants and believers of God, then they truly have gone to a much better
place and one day, we will surely see them again.
This is the end of my death and bereavement experience, but
I leave you with something that I read on the Facebook wall of one of my good
friends – I couldn’t agree more with this:
“When you were born,
you cried and world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die
the world cries and you rejoice…”
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