Out of
frustration with my predicament and with the person I had become, I confided in a
close friend. I not only needed a cure for my “Desperate Housewife Syndrome”
but I also needed a listening ear – someone who could feel my pain and perhaps
even feel a bit sorry for me. She quickly responded “right, you need a project!”
She could not have been more right. She put me in contact with a mutual friend
who was running a Bible Camp for kids in Togo and needed some fun activities. I
offered to come in and run a jewellery making workshop with them.
On the
morning of the class I got my husband to drop me off at the camp. As I entered the
room, I saw a large group of children, divided into four teams. Each team had a
colour. They did various activities in order to gain points for their teams. It
was heaps of fun to watch.
After a
while, it was home time for many of the children, but the older girls were
invited to stay behind and take part in some jewellery making! I taught them
how to use handheld jewellery tools to make earrings. They thoroughly enjoyed
the session and made some lovely pieces.
When the
class had ended, I was asked to speak to the girls about my journey with God as
a young Christian girl, trusting in God and how I ended up meeting my husband. I
shared with them my highs, lows and the mistakes I made. I told them that when
I trusted in God, He led me down the right path and to the right person for me.
The girls
found this very helpful and later that day I received a text to say that the
girls really enjoyed the day and they were very inspired. This was very
fulfilling for me, but the Bible Camp was only 3 days long, so this was not
something that I could do on a regular basis…It was then
that it hit me! I already had projects of my own! Regular ones! I was so focused on my husband not being around, that I forgot about all of the things I could have been getting on with!
I had the
Purple Touch website to write for. I also had my business; although I was not
able to physically run it, I had the extra time to think up and implement new
ideas. I was also able to do more email marketing. When I started to focus on
these things, I found that this worked to my advantage. I was able to secure
many more contracts as a result of my e-marketing and on a recent trip to
London I setup my new contracts and got everything up and running!
In addition
to this I realised that being a British girl of non-African heritage, living in
West Africa for several months was something unique. I was experiencing so many
differences in culture that I wanted to document them all. That’s how I started
up this blog! This, my business and many other things keep me more than
occupied.
A recent
trip to London reminded me of just how busy my London life is! I therefore
returned to Africa with a different frame of mind. I resolved to enjoy the free
time that I have and to use it to think – something that many of us don’t have
time to do in London!
Now, thank
goodness, I no longer suffer from Desperate Housewife Syndrome! When my husband
does go out to work or out with friends, I have plenty of things to get on
with. When I do have free time I use it to plan for our future, to
talk to God and to evaluate different areas of my life. This has all worked to
my benefit and to the benefit of my husband.
I learnt a
huge lesson from this. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that may temporarily
handicap us. If we let our emotions overpower us we can quickly become helpless
and a burden to others. Our emotions can also cloud our judgement and prevent
us from seeing possible solutions to our problems right away. If I had allowed
my emotions to completely overtake me, I would have become a very immature,
needy wife and a real burden to my husband! Neediness is not cute, nor is it
befitting of a 20-something year old woman!
I am glad I
had a friend who set me straight – that helped me on the path to using my own
common sense to realise that there was a simple solution to my problem!
Unfortunately, friends with good advice may not always be available when we
need them, so a level head is needed!
We women
will always be emotional to some degree, but after the tears (and sometimes, tantrums)
we need to focus on finding the root of the problem and what can be done to
solve it. If we do this, we will often find that the solution is right under
our nose!
