Homesick!

I have to admit when I first moved to Africa, it was a little difficult for me to adapt. Although I initially looked forward to having a completely new experience and way of life for the next few months, at times I really missed my old lifestyle. I missed my life, my city.

Whenever things did not go in my favour I would think about the fact that I was not in my own environment of familiar surroundings and a lifestyle that I was well adapted to. This made me sad and I also expected my husband to be sad for me. I wanted him to feel sorry for me. In the beginning he did. When I would cry he would be right there with me, patting me on the shoulder, but after a while the whole “woe is me” act got a bit old and my husband got sick of it…

So, with no sympathy vote from my husband, I was forced to take some time for reflection and evaluation. It was then that I realised my attitude stank! I began to think deeper about what I could do to change and it was then that I had an “ah-ha!” moment!

I realised that though my body was in Togo, my heart was still in London. I had failed to make Togo my “home for now”. I looked around and nothing reflected me. I was still a stranger, even in my marital home. I decided it was time for change…

I redecorated our place so that it reflected me a little more. Also, when going through my things I found some CDs of songs that a friend had recorded for my wedding day. These were songs that I personally chose and put together on a list for her to record. I put one of the CDs into my laptop and began listening. Even that small action made a difference – finally there was something of me in the place – something that reflected me. I finally began to feel at home.

Only when I decided to get out of alien mode, was I able to see all of the good things that Togo has to offer and the many things I could do whilst I am out here.

I learned a valuable lesson in all of this. Adapting to new environments can be difficult, especially when the new environment is completely different to anything you are used to! However, if you refuse to adapt, you will miss out on great opportunities and experiences you may not have otherwise had!

Naturally, there are still some things that I miss and will continue to miss about London. They are:

• My family
• The constant flow of electricity
• Being on the Pearls and Perils radio show with my pals 
• Going out on the town with my friends
• Sunday dinner with my family
• Haagen Dazs Café
• The absence of mosquitos
• Eastenders

Nevertheless, there are many things I love about Togo and I have decided to devote my next blog to sharing those things with you!

J

Light-off!

The term “light-off” is one commonly used in Africa. This is because in many African countries “light-off” is a common occurrence! This is when the electricity is cut off nationally or in a particular area, for a period of time.

I experienced light-off on a number of occasions whilst in Ghana. I stayed there for a few weeks before and after getting married and throughout the duration of my stay, light-off seemed to become more and more frequent. In the middle of the day or night at any given moment, all of the electricity would go off. The fridge, TV, light, fan, air-con – everything! If only "light-off" meant just the lights going off eh! The worst thing was that sometimes a whole day would go by before it came back on! The family I was staying with had a generator, but it wasn’t always working.

The day before my wedding, I was on the way to a salon to get me nails done. In the time between me leaving the house and arriving at the salon, light-off occurred! When I got to the salon I was informed that due to light-off and a broken generator (and them not knowing how to do French manicure) they could not serve me. I ended up having to get my nails done true African style, by my mother, outside our house, where there was natural light, a little bit of a breeze and a fairly large stone that we were able to wash and use as a pumice!

Now, to many Africans light-off is part of everyday life (in some cases, literally everyday!) but, for me, a Londoner who is used to having electricity at the push of a button or the insertion of a plug, this would take some getting used to! Where I’m from, the only time there is light-off is when I switch off the light with my finger!

The most frustrating thing about light-off is that the power is not in your hands (pardon the pun).  Once light-off has struck, one must wait until the electricity people decide to switch it back on and grant us electrical current once again! There is no set time – one must hold tight and hope for the best!

One late Ghanaian night, I lay in pitch black darkness and humidity, anticipating light-on, while my husband (a born and bred African) lay next to me complaining about how he can’t stand the whole thing.  It was at that moment that I realised, there are some things in life that we don’t have total control over and although the situation may be uncomfortable or uneasy, we can either let it frustrate us and increase our blood pressure, or we can learn to deal with it as best we can, knowing that eventually the situation will pass.

I absolutely detest light-off and wish it would never, ever happen, but when it does, I try not to get angry or annoyed. I just lay there, fanning myself, knowing that sooner or later “light go come”

Having said all that, I have 2 points to make:

1.)    If I were staying in Africa indefinitely, I would have to, without a doubt invest in a generator!

2.)    Thank goodness I am now in Togo, where light-off is nowhere near as frequent as Ghana!

J

“He Loves Me”

As this is a brand new blog about my time in Africa, I thought it only fitting to start with the very reason why I am here; my husband, Elom.

I met Elom just over a year ago, when I travelled to Ghana on holiday with two friends. It was my first trip to Africa and though I was a little sceptical, when I got to the “mother land” I had a blast!

My good friend Rosie has a huge family, who hosted us throughout the entire duration of our 11-day trip. Her family is amazing…and huge! She has many first cousins – one of which is Elom – meaning “He loves me”.

Elom travelled down from Togo to spend time with us and his cousins whilst we were in Ghana. When I first saw him I thought he was cute, but nothing more than that. I had not come to Africa to look for a man and to be honest never ever in my wildest dreams would I have thought of marrying a native African!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, towards the end of the trip, Elom revealed his feelings for me and we agreed to remain in contact when I got back to the UK. We spoke on skype and on the telephone every day and later that year I travelled back to Africa for 6 weeks to get to know him more.

Aside from the most fundamental things that you would look for in a suitable partner (faith, spiritual development, compatibility etc) there was something that caught me about Elom. I saw in him a different spirit.

Elom was by no means born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but fought against many odds to learn a profession in which he had interest and eventually start his own business. He is a skilled tailor, with an eye for detail and a spirit of creativity. Spending time around him, in his own surroundings I could see that he was not a wavering man. He is a man who knows exactly what he wants and (doesn’t want!) – never undecided.

In little things I could see his ambition and non-conformity to situations that would not necessarily work in his favour. This, his sincerity and his trust in a God who can make all things possible were 3 things that I found very attractive in him.

So, here we are just over a year later and we are married.  While we make plans for our future, we are in Togo, West Africa; a world miles apart from my UK life in more ways than one! I have been here a few weeks, but have already had a number of experiences (some good, some not-so pleasant) that I can’t wait to share with you!

I hope you will enjoy reading my posts, but most importantly, I hope you will learn something valuable with each blog and with each experience.

Happy Reading!